I always thought that married life would be the same as single life, just you have someone else who is there with you. It's not. Everything you do affects the other person, and I've realized that me and Jon mold our lives after each other. It's not just my life any more, it's "our life" and that's great, but it leaves me always wondering what is next. For someone who likes things planned, I'm not doing so well in that aspect. It's hard to plan for what you don't know is coming.
It's weird how fast things happen. I've been married for almost 9 months now, and it's gone by so fast! My life now is really just day to day, nothing new or special which I think contributes to the passing time. Jon is in school, so he always has something going on, and I almost never do, yet I feel bored and busy at the same time. I don't know what to think about it, but I guess I miss school. I definitely don't miss the homework or the stress, but I want to go back for sure, I just don't know when that will be or where it will be.
I guess in times of doubt, I know where I should turn, but even with patriarchal blessings and the scriptures to help me, I still feel lost sometimes. I just don't know what the next years are going to bring. It's all so uncertain. I guess what happens will happen, and that is okay. I'm still smiling at least! :)
2 comments:
I think feeling lost is what life is about. it's hard to let go and just think that whatever happens will happen. you can't plan everything. it was hard for me to let go, i wanted to plan where we would end up after dental school 2 yrs ago, but i couldn't and now we still don't know where we'll be. we didn't plan ahead to have a baby, just one day we said ok it's time. just make sure you keep whats important in life (like going back to school) in the forefront and just make sure it happens. but it's ok if you change your mind and don't go back to school. As long as you are happy about it. I also think you shouldn't have to wait for jon to finish school, you can get a loan or grant to go to school. So if you want it, go for it.
I was going to go back this fall, but the program I want to get into doesn't happen till next summer, so it just works out that way. :)
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